Ultimately, there can be no complete healing until we have restored our primal trust in life. G Feuerstein
Healing after being abused, deceived, betrayed and hurt by the person you loved and trusted may seem like an impossible thing to do. It’s been two months since my relationship ended and at first I didn’t think I would be able to move out of the deep dark hole that I was in. The searing pain I felt prevented me from eating, sleeping and socialising and instead I was drinking as well as smoking excessively. I could just about manage to get myself out of bed and go to work. However, as soon as I got home, I would retire to the comfort of my bedroom or a bottle of wine.
I didn’t understand why my relationship hadn’t worked out. I had given him everything: my love, my support, my admiration, my soul. I had helped him pass his exams, set up and finance his business, but he was still treating me like I was invisible and not worthy. He would say he loved me though, so I believed him! However, he broke every promise he made and never kept true to his word.
After over two years together, I couldn’t take it anymore and I asked him to leave. (Well it took a 999 call to the police, but I will tell that story another time.) Strangely, even though I was the one who had instigated the separation, I didn’t know how I would get through it. He had been aggressive and abusive throughout the relationship but I was missing him crazy. He was my world, my everything, and I didn’t know how I could live without him.
Then one day, I picked up a book called The Sociopath Next Door by Marta Stout. After a few pages, I became aware that my ex-partner was showing sociopathic traits. I was intrigued, so I finished the book, watched YouTube videos to find out more and read articles on the Internet. Then I found out about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I suddenly realised what my partner had been: a talented actor!
And then the healing started…